The 10 KRommandments

What are some of the things you should NEVER do as a Kent Ridgean? Here are the 10 KRommandments!

1. Don’t ever bring your matric card with you

Why tap yourself in when you can simply ask the whole wide world to tap you in? Pester people in the block chat because if you’re a family, they won’t leave you in a lurch ;)

2. Don’t buy your own printing card

Why buy when you can just ‘borrow’ your friend’s am I right? What’s a few cents or even the entire card compared to your friendship? Even better: just use their printer, problem solved.

3. Don’t jio your friends for hall dinner

Why make life difficult for yourself and bring the crowd with you? Beat the crowd by having dinner without them!

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4. Don’t leave your door open when you’re in

Where’s the privacy your room promised you? Why give that all away when you can have it all to yourself right. Tell your neighbours to piss off and shut your door. Looks like some people really do treasure their privacy!

5. Don’t jio your friends when you’re ordering in food

You’re hungry but people take forever to reply and some even try to squeeze in their order even after you close the orders on the chat. How annoying. On the bright side, you can pay for delivery all by yourself!

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6. Don’t wash your tupperwares after eating

Who doesn’t love a dirty tupperware that has scents of your previous meal lingering in it to remind you of the sumptuous dinner you previously had? Best of all, wait for the inside to go bad and you have to throw it away and buy a new tupperware, oh goodie!

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7. Don’t own your own thumb drive

Sharing is caring, why own something everyone else has and you can simply borrow from? Stand out, be unique today!

8. Don’t share your notes with your fellow residents

NUS is competitive enough, why would you equip clueless people with the tools they need to beat you in the bell curve? Come on

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9. Don’t buy your own food

Why buy your own food when you can just go into your friend's room and eat all their food for free?

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10. Don’t help wake up your friend even if you hear their alarm ringing for hours

No tutorial attendance=no class participation or learning=bottom of bell curve=better grades for me.

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With all that being said, I hope that you have learnt a thing or two about how to be a more gracious and ‘more better’ Kent Ridgean from here on now. Cheers!

This article is brought to you by the Fake News Fridays team. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, locales, and incidents are either the products of the author's imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

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Kent Ridge Hall Reporters 2019